Life Lessons from 2006

So, I thought I would post a blog about what I've learned this year. All the cool kids are doing it. ROFLOL

1.) Be true to yourself. There is no need to change who you are or to let other people change you. I have been guilty of changing to fit in. I am sure most people have. However, I don't place all the blame on those people. I made wrong choices, I suffer those consequences. No one held a gun to my head and made me do anything, I chose to do it. Ya, know? I knew in my heart it was the wrong thing, but I did it anyway. No one to blame but me.
Now, I have experienced the other end of this too. I have been attacked, as well as my family, for being who I am and expressing that. It hurt. A lot. However, I didn't continue to argue my points, I just decided that maybe this person and I should agree to disagree. Apparently that wasn't what they wanted to do. They wanted to continue to take every oportunity to dig the knife in, so to speak. That's fine, I don't control what other people do anymore than they control what I do. I'm not saying it didn't hurt, I'm just saying it was a learning experience. It was hard to not give into the gossip and backstabbing and ugliness, but I think I did a pretty good job. I'm not saying I made the best choices all the time, but I don't think I did anything to be ashamed of. If you think different, please let me know. I'm not one to blame others for my bad choices. I'll own up and apologize if it was truly my doing.

2.) Take responsiblity. Yep, as adults we should be able to take responsiblity for the things we screwed up. It's not easy. No one wants to be wrong, but it's the responsible thing to do. Everything that has gone wrong in my life can't be blamed on everyone else. I have to take responsiblity for my actions. I have to accept my share of the blame.That's life. That's being an adult.
3.) Never believe what you hear, unless it comes straight from the source, and even then be cautious. I hear tons of things about tons of people. People talk about people everywhere. You can't go anywhere in public here and not overhear something about someone that you probably know. However, it's not your business. I do occassionally vent to friends about people I know. However, it's mostly just a " I just don't understand why ....". I don't do the whole "did you hear about so and so" thing. I have done it, it wasn't right and I apologize to anyone that I have hurt in doing that. Honestly from the bottom of my heart. If you are one of those people and you don't think that's enough, then contact me privately and we'll talk about it.
4.) Different things work for different people, and that's ok. My family works differently than yours. Thats' fine. I'm no better than you and you are no better than me. I may make different choices than you.I may have different beliefs than you. I may hold different things close to my hear than you. That doesn't make me better than you. I don't think I'm better than you. If you think that I think I'm better than you, that's your problem, not mine.
5.) You can't complain about a situation, if you don't work to change it. You can't complain about the government, if you didn't vote. You can't complain about the way organizations are run, if you don't participate. You can't complain about squadron parties, if you don't help plan it. You can't complain about your children's play group, if you aren't active in it. I think a lot of things are just jacked up in the world, but unless I'm trying to change it, I have no right to complain about it. Sure, I can be upset about the way things are, but unless I am willing to sit down and talk to those in charge, then I can't complain. I know that sometimes you can't change things. Sometimes you can talk to those in charge until you are blue in the face and get nothing. That's life. Everything doesn't work out like we want it to. Now if you've talked to those in charge, then complain away. You've done your best to fix the situation. No one can hold that against you. I just can't stand it when people have nothing but complaints about stuff, but want nothing to do with fixing what they think the problem is. Sure I complain about stuff, everyone does, but I don't make it my life's mission to completely bash something because I disagree with the way things are run.
6) If you have a problem with someone, let them know. I have a hard time with this because I am very non-confrontational. I know how it feels to not want to cause waves. However, I don't go sharing the problems I have with other people with everyone I meet. I don't blog about how I was mistreated and how I am always done wrong. If I have a problem with you I probably won't let you know. :) (I know I'm going to get a lot of "practice what you preach" posts, but that's ok) I don't want to start trouble and I usually just chalk it up to a mutual misunderstanding. I usually figure it was unintentional and nothing to bicker about. However, when it seems as if you are going out of your way to point out things about me, or avoiding me, I can only believe it is intentional and that you have some sort of problem. I don't know if you don't tell me. Heck it could just be a mood swing. I get those. It could just be stress. Everyone has stressors. If you don't let me know, I can't fix it, and you have no right to complain about it. See lesson # 5. :)
7.)You don't have to be exactly the same as someone to be their friend. You do have to have some things in common,but I don't think it's necessary to have everything in common. You don't have to have the same beliefs, the same family values, the same morals. I have friends that have different beliefs than I do.I have friends that have family values that differ from mine. I don't think any less of them for that. I like having friends that are different than me. I, as a Christian, have non-Christian friends. I like hanging out with them. I like talking with them about their beliefs. I like sharing mine with them. I'm not out to convert them or force my views on them, and they don't do that to me either. It's a respect thing. I respect my friends, and I expect the same in return. I don't always have to agree with what they do, I don't always have to like the same people they like, I don't have to have the same hobbies they do and they don't have to like those things about me. If someone feels like they need to change to be my friend, or act differently when they are around me, that's their issue, not mine.

8)If you are not happy with yourself, you are not going to be happy period. You can't count on others to make you happy.You have to find your own joy in life. I'm still working on this.
9) You can't please everyone. I used to be more of a people pleaser than I am now. I have cared more about what other people think than what I think. It comsumed me. I worried about what people would thinkabout what I was wearing. I worried about what people would think about what I said. I worried about what people would think about the graphics on myspace. I worried about what people would think of my car, my house, my kids, my everything. I finally had to stop worrying about everyone else when I realized I cared more about what other people though more than what my family thought. I have learned to be the best person I can be, no matter what other people think. I found what worked for me and my family and learned to ignore what everyone else says. See lesson # 4.
10) It's my job as a parent to raise responsible, self-confident, functional kids. They need to be able to function as productive adults in society. I can't leave that up to anyone else. I can't let the school do it. I can't let tv do it. I can't let me friends do it. Making my kids clean their rooms, won't kill them. Teaching them to do laundry won't give them a complex. Making them do their own homework, will only make them smarter no matter how much they protest. Leaving my 15 year old home with the younger 2 for a few hours a month will not kill him. Making my 8 yr old clean the litter box will not kill him. Having my 5 yr old unload the dishwasher will not kill him. I am not a bad parent for making my kids do these things. I am a great parent. The one thing I am not is my kids' friend. I am their mother. They have a lot of friends. They only have one mother. They know they can come to me with anything, and they do. They know I will listen to what they have to say. They know I love them. They know there are rules in life that need to be followed. That's just the way the ball bounces.


Now, I am sure some that some of the things I have said here are going to tick some people off. I'm sorry if you are offended or whatever. However, it's my blog and no one made you come here. If you have issues, let me know privately. If you think this is the most horrible thing ever written, fine that's your opinion. You know I monitor my blog comments. As long as they aren't vulgar and written specifically to cause trouble, I post all the comments I get. Don't think that's fair? I'm sorry. It's my blog and I get to make the rules. :)